Dirty Mind Jokes: Biology gives you a brain. Life turns it into a mind. Well, everyday million of thoughts kick into your mind. But dirty mind jokes are something that brings smile on your face. Even the most innocent thoughts can take you to the naughty side. Keeping this in mind, we’ve brought you a list of dirty mind jokes with meanings from all over the internet. But your filthy minds will not understand many of these, so if you hanging out with your friends open these jokes and see who has the filthiest sense of them all.
Let the fun begin with our list of dirtiest mind questions!
Q1. What’s a thing that you can find in a man’s pants but not in a woman’s?
Q2. Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Donald Trump has a small one. And Madonna doesn’t have one at all. What is it?
A. Last Name
Q3. What’s a four-letter word that ends in “k” and means the same as intercourse?
Q4. What is hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside? It starts with the letter ‘C’ and ends with ‘T’.
Q5. I go in hard but come out soft, and I never mind if you want to blow me. What am I?
A. Chewing Gum
Q6. What’s six inches long, goes in your mouth, and is more fun when it vibrates.
A. An electric toothbrush
Q7. What’s long and hard and has a cum in it?
A. A cucumber
Q8. What goes up, lets out load, and then goes back?
A. An Elevator
Q.9. What gets longer if pulled, fits snuggly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works really well when jerked?
A. A Seatbelt
Q10. When I Go in, I can cause some pain. I’ll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask you to spit and not swallow. What am I?
A. A dentist
Q 11. What does every woman have that starts with ‘V’ and that she can use to get whatever she wants?
Q12. A cow has four of them but a woman has just two. What is it?
Q13. It’s fun to do but you hate knowing your parents do it too. What is it?
Q14. Every man has one. Some are big, some are small. It feels great when you blow it, but it drips if you aren’t careful. What is it?
A. A Nose
Q15. I have a stiff shaft and my tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?
A. An arrow
Q16. Over 1000 people went down on me. I wasn’t a maiden for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?
A. The Titanic
Q17. What is more rewarding when it’s long and hard?
A. A college education
Q18. Some people prefer being on top, others prefer being at the bottom. And it always involves a bed.
A. A bunk bed
Q19. You get a lot of it if you’re important and successful. You get less when you are starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself if you want to but it’s a lot better when it’s with other people.
Q20. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I am called a big swinger. What am I?
A. A crane
Q21. What is something that people keep in their trousers that their partners sometimes love to blow?
Q22. Doesn’t matter what room we are in, you can always spread me. What am I?
Q23. What’s white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?
Q24. It starts with the letter “P” and ends with “O.R.N”. I play a major role in the film industry. What am I?
Q25. What’s most useful when it’s long and hard?
A. An education.
Q26. I am always hard when dry but smooth and soft when wet. What am I?
Q27. I prevent any mistakes and I’m made out of rubber. What am I?
Q28. Most people and their partners put their figure inside me when they are on their first date. What am I?
A. Bowling Ball
Q29. What can’t be tasted unless it is undressed?
A. A banana
Q30. What is super hard, comes in different sizes, and can go into tiny holes?
A. A key
Q35. What begins with “P”, responds to stimulation by getting bigger, and generally is the biggest at night in the dark?
A. Pupils of eyes
Q36. What is the thing that is worn for protection, use your hands to get it off, and you can find it hard to feel properly when this is being worn?
Q37. What is the thing you set on vibration when you want some time alone?
A. A phone
Q38. I’m the most fun when you put me in small holes and wiggle me around. What am I?
A. A Q-tip
Q39. It’s hard when it goes in but comes out wet, soft, and sometimes soggy.
Q40. People use me to hold their buns, and I can leave a red mark if I have you too tight on your skin. What am I?
A. A hair tie
Q41. You have to blow me to play and have more fun. What am I?
Q42. People use their hands to go up and down me, I’m very long and very hard. What am I?
Q43. I am dirty, people like to put their wood in me, but only Santa goes down on me. What am I?
A. A Fireplace
Q44. What’s beautiful and natural but gets long and prickly if it isn’t trimmed regularly?
Q45. Women can’t get enough of me, and I rhyme with “sock”. What am I?
Q46. What’s long and hard when it’s young and soft and small when it’s old?
Q47. What is the difference between a woman’s G-spot and a quarter?
A. That men can actually find a quarter
Q48. I am long, you move me around with your lips and tongue, I get wet with saliva and I get sucked. What am I?
A. A straw
Q49. What’s a 5 letter word that starts with a “P” and women absolutely love to get their hands on it?
Q50. What do an eggplant, a penis, a celery, and a cucumber have in common?
A. They all have the letter ‘E’.
Q51. What is the thing that starts with an “F” and ends in “C-K” and when things get really hot, it is exactly what you want?
Q52. It can get dirty, it can be cleaned. It can be delicate, it can be rough. People sometimes shake it or smack it against its own kind. What am I?
Q53. You’ll find me on a peak, I am sometimes small and sometimes big, sometimes pointy. What am I?
A. A nipple
Q54. Your finger fits right in it. You play with it when you’re bored. Once you’re married, you’re stuck with the same one forever. What is it?
A. A wedding ring
Q55. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?
A. A tent
Q.56 People come to visit me but usually don’t stay for very long. I can be clean but am more often than not very dirty. People usually reveal to me a part of themselves that they rarely show others. What am I?
Q57. What’s a four-letter word that’s generally used for women?
Q58. People love being inside me, and my shaft goes up and down every day. What am I?
A. An elevator.